I was happy, ecstatic and really starting to like how I looked in pictures, but in 2011, something changed (not immediately, though). I participated in two 5k's, exercised some, but cancelled my gym membership because I honestly really hated going. I thought I would keep up with running on my own, I bought some workout DVDs and for a while was really faithful at doing them, but...
Towards the end of the year, I started getting lazy. It became too hot or too cold to go out for a run, my feet hurt, I was tired, I would "do it tomorrow", you know all the excuses we tend to make..
The in 2012 I was completely sedentary. No workout DVDs, no running (except for a few spurts here and there). I started going through the drive-thru again for convenience and rekindled my love for Coca-cola, french fries, chips and sweets. And after that it was all downhill..
I didn't notice the weight gain at first - I could still fit into my pants, my shirts weren't that tight, so I figured I must not have gained that much weight...
Then a few days ago, I actually stepped on the scale. I have never been so shocked or disappointed in myself than when I saw that number. I haven't officially gained back all 50lbs, but I'm getting close. That's when I decided that something has got to give. Something has got to change. I haven't yet figured it out, but I'm bound and determined to find it.
There has to be reason that I give up after a little bit of success. What am I afraid of? Why am I sabotaging my progress? I understand that I am an emotional eater. I completely get it. And I also know that 2012 was a very emotional year for my family (perhaps I'll write about it sometime). But honestly, that is no excuse. I know what to do, it's just putting it into action. It's going to be hard. But the old saying is true, mind over matter.
So this is my resolution, to stop making excuses for myself. To make a conscience effort to be healthy. By conquering this mountain once and for all, and by doing it the old fashioned way, and by keeping a record of my progress along the way. And who knows, maybe by the end of 2013, you'll be seeing a lot less of me.
I know this is a cliche resolution, but it is one that simply must be made, and by writing it all down, perhaps I will attain some sort of accountability. I'm not going to hold anything back. I'm not doing this for anyone but myself and if I happen to help someone else along the way as well - then great!
Here to 2013. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
